How To Build Your Child’s Self-Esteem Through Music, Behavior, and Other Strategies…

For children, self-esteem comes from knowing that they’re loved and that they belong to a family and a community that values them. spending quality time with their families. being encouraged to try new things, finding things they’re good at, and being praised for things that are important to them. Sometimes it is easy to notice when kids feel good about themselves but what about when they do not?

Kids With Self-esteem

Children and young people with high self-esteem often…

  • Have a positive image of themselves
  • Are confident
  • Can make friends easily and are not anxious with new people
  • Can play in groups or on their own
  • Will try and solve problems on their own, but if not able to will ask for help
  • Can be proud of their achievements
  • Can admit mistakes and learn from them
  • Will try new things and adapt to change.

Kids With Low Self-esteem

Children and young people with low self-esteem often…

  • Have a negative image of themselves, they might feel bad, ugly, unlikeable, or stupid
  • Lack confidence
  • Find it hard to make and keep friendships, and may feel victimized by others
  • Feel lonely and isolated
  • Tend to avoid new things and find change hard
  • Can’t deal well with failure.
  • Tend to put themselves down and might say things like “I’m stupid” or “I can’t do that”
  • Are not proud of what they achieve and always think they could have done better.
  • Are constantly comparing themselves to their peers in a negative way.

Why Self-Esteem Matters

Self-esteem helps kids cope with mistakes. It helps kids try again, even if they fail at first. As a result, self-esteem helps kids do better at school, at home, and with friends. Kids with low self-esteem often…

  • Feel unsure of themselves
  • Feel unsure of themselves.
  • Find it hard to make and keep friendships
  • Feel victimized by others
  • Feel lonely and isolated
  • Tend to avoid new things and find change hard
  • Can’t deal well with failure 

How Self-Esteem Develops

Self-esteem can start as early as babyhood. It can start just because a child feels safe, loved, and accepted. It starts when your baby gets positive attention and loving care. When the babies become toddlers and young children the self-esteem grows when parents pay attention, let their child try, give them smiles and show how proud they are of them. Here are things parents can do to help kids feel good about themselves…

  • Help your child learn to do things
  • When teaching kids how to do things, show and help them at first
  • Praise your child, but do it wisely
  • Be a good role model
  • Ban harsh criticism
  • Focus on strengths
  • Let kids help and give

How to Build Self-Esteem

Every child is different. Self-esteem may come easier to some kids than others. Even if a child’s self-esteem is low, it can be raised.

  • Don’t Overpraise – Watch out for insincere praise — it can trigger bad feelings. Kids might think we feel sorry for them, or that we are trying to be manipulative. Insincere praise might also send the message that we don’t really understand them. For example, telling a child he played a great game when he knows he didn’t feel hollow and fake
  • Praise Effort – Avoid focusing only on results. Instead, offer praise for effort, progress, and attitude. If he does not get an A but worked hard trying to, say you are getting better and better at those spelling tests or I am proud of you trying so hard.
  • Be a Good Role Model – When you are working hard on everyday tasks you are setting a good example. Your child learns to put effort into doing homework, cleaning up toys, or making the bed.
  • Ban Harsh Criticism – The messages kids hear about themselves from others easily translate into how they feel about themselves. When kids hear negative messages about themselves, it harms their self-esteem. Correct kids with patience. Focus on what you want them to do next time. Harsh words (you are so lazy) are harmful, not motivation. When kids hear that kind of message about themselves, it harms their self-esteem.
  • Focus On Strengths – Today research shows that focusing on your child’s strengths rather than weaknesses leads to a more positive self-image and greater self-awareness and confidence. Focus more on strengths than weaknesses if you want to help kids feel good about themselves. this improves behavior too.

Self-esteem grows when kids get to see that what they do matters to others. Helping at home, doing a service project, being kind and helpful to a sibling. Helping and kind acts build self-esteem and other good feelings.

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Who You’ll Be Someday:
Songs and Stories for
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Ages 0-4


I Can Do It:
Songs of Confidence
Ages 3+

I Can Settle Down:
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I Can Count on You:
Songs of Belonging
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Un Mundo, One World:
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in English and Spanish (Bilingual)
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For Now and Forever
For Now and Forever:
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Ages 1-3+
My Box of Dreams Cover
My Box of Dreams:
Songs for Naptime and Bedtime
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Becoming My Own Me:
Songs for Developing Toddlers
Ages 1-3
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Beautiful Baby, Wonderful Child: Songs for Infants and Toddlers
Ages 0-3
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Feeling Positive:
Songs of Optimism, Curiosity, Kindness and Gratitude
Ages 4+
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Here, Now Know-How: Songs of Mindfulness
Ages 4+
Imagination Generation
Imagination Generation:
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Ages 4+
New Day
New Day: Songs of Hope and Optimism
Ages 4+
Tough Stuff
Tough Stuff: Songs of Motivation
Ages 3+
Tale Care
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Dandelion: Songs for
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and Early Preschoolers
Ages 2+
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Anything’s Possible: Songs for a Montessori Environment
Ages 3+

My Hand In Your Hand: Songs for Families Who Reach Out in Love
Ages 3+

Music in My Mouth: Songs for Speech and Language Skills
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I Belong to a Beautiful Family
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